Something shifted in my brain very recently and I have to share. I’m 43. I can’t remember a time I was satisfied with my body. I was a chubby girl, then an obese woman, starved myself skinny in 2009, gained to the point of overweight, struggled hard with my weight until 2017 and FINALLY found what works for me – and with an amount of ease I am still not used to!
For months now, I easily maintain a weight of 125-128. Now, my actual goal at 5’1″ is 120#. It’s a healthy weight.
It’s a number on a scale. I saw this photo of me working yesterday at an Expo and it kind of hit me upside the head. I mean, as recently as the last few days I’ve been “doing a cleanse” or whatever to try to fight my way down to 120 for some reason.
I’ve been knocked down by “Probable multiple sclerosis”, fibromyalgia and an acute tangle with Lyme disease. Twice I struggled to stand up and walk for a period of time in my life. And with this body, I’ve fought my way back. I run 5k on a whim, ride my bicycles to and from work (21 miles round trip), work physically all day long and have the energy to make dinner when I get home. With this body. This. Body. How about just being content with precious gift of a body to enjoy?? It’s actually pretty fantastic.
It’s time to drop the struggle and turn to gratitude. I love the ways I move my body to keep fit. I love my job and the fact that I’m physically able to do it. I love my life. I love my body. I don’t give a crap how fast I can get from point A to point B any more. I do give a crap about having fun and enjoyment.
Grateful and content,